Supporting your Children During Times of Tragic Events
We would like to offer these recommendations from Safer Schools Together:
Guidelines for parents/guardians to support children through times of grief during and after a traumatic event
Limit exposure to news stories on traditional and social media channels
Consider how you access news and how that may impact children nearby. Young children may not know how to make sense of the news they are seeing and can quickly become overwhelmed. Encourage older children to rely on reputable news sources, and where possible limit their consumption and exposure to upsetting coverage.
It is important to have conversations, and model with your own behaviours, the additional traumatic impact for victims and families when upsetting images are re-circulated. We are respectfully suggesting that individuals do not watch, repost or share videos of the tragedy.
Acknowledge feelings
Our children and youth will look to us for cues on how to process this upsetting information. Acknowledging our own feelings gives children a model for how to express and process their strong emotions. It is normal to experience a range of emotions in response to such unsettling news.
Listen more than you speak
Listen to your child’s concerns before offering any explanations. Give them an opportunity to voice their fears and ask age-appropriate open-ended questions. These conversations will help you understand if your child is coming from a place of curiosity, concern or fear, and will help you gain a sense of what your child may need from adults to feel safe and supported.
Provide facts
Tell the truth but do it gently. Give your child facts as long as it is consistent with their stage of development – keep conversations age appropriate. Children need to know their concerns and questions are being taken seriously by the adults around them and that they can trust their adults to be truthful with them. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t be afraid to say so.
Importance of Routine
Maintaining daily routines can provide a sense of stability and security for children and adults. It can also be important to give children permission to continue to find hope in their daily world.
Encourage empathy and compassion
Remind your child there may be others in their daily lives who may be impacted by this tragedy. Talk with your child about how we need to treat others with extra compassion and empathy during times like these. Tragedies and times of sadness and grief can serve as meaningful moments to teach compassion, which can help children feel empowered as they find additional ways to be kind and caring.
School district staff recognize that students may require additional support and will continue to prioritize the mental health and well-being of students. Be mindful of any changes in your child’s typical behaviours. If you feel your child needs additional support, please reach out to your school and/or access the community supports identified in the following resources.
Resources
Conversations about Global Issues
We recognize that global issues may contribute to a range of feelings and trauma for students, staff and families. It is important to be mindful of how these events impact each of us and those around us. During these times, we are also reminded of the importance that children have access to caring adults to help them to feel safe and make sense of the world.
Please see below for information from Safer Schools Together. The following resources provide tips for staff and parents/caregivers. There are resources to share for families of both elementary and secondary school children.
How to Talk to Kids About Violence, Crime, and War: Common Sense Media gathers tips and conversation starters to help you talk to kids of different ages about the toughest topics.
Resilience in a time of war: Tips for parents and teachers of elementary school children: This article from the American Psychological Association can help adults guide their young children beyond fear and to resilience.
Resilience in a time of war: Tips for parents and teachers of middle school children: The American Psychological Association breaks out tips and strategies for parents and teachers of middle school-aged children.
National Child Traumatic Stress Network provides resources that can be filtered by topic or keyword and by audience with a focus on how adults can identify traumatic responses in young people and how to support them.
If you have concerns about your child’s reaction, please reach out to your child’s school staff, family doctor and/or other community supports.